If I were a Congressman...

Category: By DuNi

some of my proposals if ever I get elected into Congress:

House Bill 6969 - An Act transfering the Congressional Sessions from Batasang Pambansa to MGM Grand in Las Vegas... dun kasi lagi may quorum, at hindi nale late ang mga congressman


House Resolution 0069 - A Resolution commending Judy Ann Santos and Ryan Agoncillo for their humbling and modest decision to keep their wedding PRIVATE and SOLEMN... sa wakas walang nakakaumay at sobrang arteng preparations na napanood sa TV na pinag aagawan ng mga networks tapos sa bandang huli eh mauuwi din naman pala sa hiwalayan


House Bill 2.25(patterned after my highest grade in Mapua) - An Act dissolving all the Universities, downgrading them into specialized schools, and creating 2 year courses(i.e. 2 years lang Arki ka na... ENROL NA!)... lahat kasi gusto nila 2 years lang makapag abroad na, konti na lang kumukuha ng Architecture, Engineering, Medicine at Law dahil uugod-ugod ka na bago ka grumadweyt at hindi ka naman kikita ng malaki agad...


House Bill 00069 - An Act prohibiting politicians or anybody who ran on any local or national elections from JOINING any Sports Agencies... ang presidente ba ng BAP-SBP eh marunong magbasketbol? isa pa, hindi po dapat ginagawang kwalipikasyon ang pagiging mukhang kabayo para lang pwedeng tumakbo bilang head ng equestrian association or horse racing commision


eto lang muna wala pa akong maisip na iba... but my constituents' suggestions are welcome! at kayo yun!

kaya wag ninyo akong kakalimutan sa 2010!!!

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Updates:


House Bill 1,000,000 - An Act prohibiting the alumni of Pinoy Dream Academy, Pinoy Idol, and all those talent search contest to record SHITTY revivals of Eraserheads songs, Air Supply songs and all those certified classic hits unless he/she is a member of a rock band or unless they have a different song interpretation(i.e. ken leeee, tulibu dibu douchuuuu)


House Bill 200,000(patterned after “sec, may 200 ka rito”) - An Act granting incentives and privileges to those who BRIBED state witnesses and can daringly file PERJURY RAPS to the person he bribed, hold press conference with the family, and can convincingly call you "TOL" even if you are not related by blood...


House Bill 750cc - An Act providing sets of discount from traffic penalties to ALL motorcycles that has PNP stickers.  The set of discounts will be dependent on your motorcycle model(i.e. the more expensive, the higher the discount)... ano ka swerte??? Kung may pambili ka ng 400cc na motor, eh di may pambayad ka ng penalty… ipagbabawal na rin ang hindi pagsita sa lahat ng motor na may PNP stickers


House Bill 00000.5 - An Act reverting the Ninoy Aquino International Airport back into its grand old name Manila International Airport, thereby also setting the proper guidelines for naming an airport.  This bill will primarily oblige the naming of an airport from its location so as not to confuse tourists from their geographical knowledge of our beloved country(i.e. Laoag International Airport, Cebu International Airport)… ANG NINOY AQUINO AY HINDI ISANG LUGAR SA PARANAQUE!!!

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House Bill 12Rounds - An Act appointing Manny Pacquiao as Chief of the Philippine National Police, and thereby granting sensitive top logistical positions to other successful professional boxers into the PNP leadership for their track record of preventing an increase in the daily crime rate within the country every Sunday morning


House Bill 300Million -  An Act designating the Ambassadors of Iraq, Afghanistan and other war-affected countries to ex-military Generals for the very simple reason that Military(and Business) expertise are needed in war-torn countries rather than in the U.N., Vatican or other peaceful countries that has adequate amenities and privileges like Duty Free Shops, Disneylands, Casinos, Exclusive Resorts, Bruneiyukis, Legal Prostitutes(i.e. Netherlands), etc.

17 comments so far.

  1. macario sakay April 30, 2009 at 1:21 PM
    Hala... ngayon pa lang mangampanya ka na at baka maunahan ka pa ni Gloria... umiikot na dyan sa inyo ang pagtakbo niya na Congresswoman...

    Your Honor pwede po magsuggest... gawa ka rin ng batas na nagsasabing HINDI MASAMANG MAGSINUNGALING basta nasa puwesto ang isang akusado? Para po matigil na ang issue tungkol sa NBN-ZTE... masyado na pong nayurakan ang pagkatao ng mga SINUNGALING sa Gobyerno eh... kawawa naman
  2. DuNi @ April 30, 2009 at 1:23 PM
    mahal kong kababayan na Sakay...
    hayaan mo isasali natin ang suhestiyon mo... Mabuhay ka!

    ang inyong cute na tagapaglingkod,
    Congressman
  3. ' JEEANursey ' April 30, 2009 at 1:31 PM
    eto pinakagusto ko.
    SANA MANALO KA!
    hahahahaha.
  4. macario sakay April 30, 2009 at 1:32 PM
    ay maraming salamat po Cute-Kong
  5. gladys yuso April 30, 2009 at 1:59 PM
    naks! fans k pla ni Juday hehehe
  6. gladys yuso April 30, 2009 at 2:01 PM
    Iboto si CUTE-CONG!!!
  7. Philip Mariveles April 30, 2009 at 2:03 PM
    PUNYAL na para Partylist at si Plorwaks ay isa sa mga kakatawan ng partido. Mas maganda pa pakinggan kesa sa Bantay ni Palparan parang aso, sunud-sunuran at utusan...
  8. Babaeng Macho *-* April 30, 2009 at 2:05 PM
    sana resulotions sa mga kagaya ko:D

    may mga kasama k n b dyan? baka kailangan mo ng pondo?
    hahahaahah!!!!
  9. RG de Castro April 30, 2009 at 4:57 PM
    aus to ah! hehehe!!
  10. DuNi @ May 1, 2009 at 10:12 AM
    hindi po nila ako fan... gusto ko lang yung ginawa nila na hindi hinayaan pagpyestahan ang kasal nila ng kung sinu-sinong amuyong kahit hindi taga-showbiz... a WEDDING is supposed to be a UNION and not an EXHIBITION... :))
  11. DuNi @ May 1, 2009 at 10:51 AM
    pondo saan? marami akong stock...
    teka ano ba pinag-uusapan natin???
  12. DuNi @ May 1, 2009 at 10:52 AM
    bro, mas sweet ang kasal pag walang usisero, mas tipid pa... ;))
  13. DuNi @ May 1, 2009 at 10:53 AM
    may mga bagong updates po courtesy of our beloved constituents...
  14. DuNi @ May 1, 2009 at 12:28 PM
    mananalo si Gloria dito... bukod sa karamihan ng botante dito eh uto-uto, Per Baranggay ang bilihan dito, hindi katulad dyan sa inyo sa Maynila, per head lang ang deal sa inyo... wala kayong sinabi dyan dahil mas madiskarte ang mga Baranggay Officials dito noh!!!
  15. Philip Mariveles May 1, 2009 at 1:29 PM
    Nung 2007 kumita na malaki ung mga kapitan kay Pineda. Sana kapag napasyal si Gloria sa Bacolor makita nya si Santino at isumbong kay Bro...
  16. RG de Castro May 1, 2009 at 5:08 PM
    tama tama!
  17. DuNi @ May 1, 2009 at 8:02 PM
    meron dito isang opisyales ng baranggay ang balita nakatanggap ng padulas kay Pineda, tapos inilagak niya sa kampanya ni Among Ed, ayun wala pa yatang isang buwan sinalvage na agad hahaha...

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